Dare to go alone
When it comes to free movement in Kerala, a woman thinks twice.Should I go alone or take the company of someone?
When media is flooded with all sorts of physical and emotional abuse towards women,cutting across all ages, majority feels scared of not just travelling alone, but even to go for shopping or to a cinema hall.
The other place you could see the entire family presence is interviews. It is an usual, but hilarious scene in Kerala, during PSC interviews, where women candidates are seen accompanied either by husbands carrying kids or mothers and fathers. I have written only one PSC test and that day I got a doubt-whom will they take to as body guards when they go for work?
Lucky, those who have someone to guide and accompany you everywhere. But that alone kills the self confidence of a person, be it woman or man. Self-sufficiency and independence are qualities that have to be nurtured, it doesn't come along with your genes.Sadly, parents in the name of 'caring' are over pampering their kids and raise them as good for nothing fellows.
Yesterday, I heard a woman lamenting about not able to go to movies alone in Kerala.I doubt whether the woman has ever dared to do so. Despite all bad news about Kerala men preying on lonely girls, I think it is high time women should dare to tread fearlessly everywhere instead of thinking too much about what will happen to us, what they will think, how they will treat me, if I do so.I am not belittling insecurity of women in Kerala as fear alone is the problem. But just try and feel the difference.
Reading and watching about all those negative stories about men and their attitude towards women in Kerala, I myself feel proud with pinch of surprise element that I have went to watch movies alone,not once or twice, but continuously for years. I never had a bad experience and that too between 1999-2004. But I have come across ugly experiences when we friends, all girls, went together for movies.
So it depends on all our attitude, put on a brave face.But if it was possible in early 2000, why it is not possible these days? Let the first move come from women.Let them shed their inhibitions and prejudices.And men will follow you, even if it takes time.
When media is flooded with all sorts of physical and emotional abuse towards women,cutting across all ages, majority feels scared of not just travelling alone, but even to go for shopping or to a cinema hall.
The other place you could see the entire family presence is interviews. It is an usual, but hilarious scene in Kerala, during PSC interviews, where women candidates are seen accompanied either by husbands carrying kids or mothers and fathers. I have written only one PSC test and that day I got a doubt-whom will they take to as body guards when they go for work?
Lucky, those who have someone to guide and accompany you everywhere. But that alone kills the self confidence of a person, be it woman or man. Self-sufficiency and independence are qualities that have to be nurtured, it doesn't come along with your genes.Sadly, parents in the name of 'caring' are over pampering their kids and raise them as good for nothing fellows.
Yesterday, I heard a woman lamenting about not able to go to movies alone in Kerala.I doubt whether the woman has ever dared to do so. Despite all bad news about Kerala men preying on lonely girls, I think it is high time women should dare to tread fearlessly everywhere instead of thinking too much about what will happen to us, what they will think, how they will treat me, if I do so.I am not belittling insecurity of women in Kerala as fear alone is the problem. But just try and feel the difference.
Reading and watching about all those negative stories about men and their attitude towards women in Kerala, I myself feel proud with pinch of surprise element that I have went to watch movies alone,not once or twice, but continuously for years. I never had a bad experience and that too between 1999-2004. But I have come across ugly experiences when we friends, all girls, went together for movies.
So it depends on all our attitude, put on a brave face.But if it was possible in early 2000, why it is not possible these days? Let the first move come from women.Let them shed their inhibitions and prejudices.And men will follow you, even if it takes time.
I believe a new generation of girls and boys coming up in kerala.. they mingle well with out bothering much.. the old generation (including me )still has lot of taboo !!! Film Theatres has become a matter of past in Kerala (unless new style theaters emerge - modern multiplexes)
ReplyDeleteOf course...The change we see now is just peripheral, skin-deep.The young generation mingle.But I dont think that alone proves Kerala has changed.You and me belong to same time, even that time I used to go for shopping and movies alone. I remember how the Edava girls used to warn me for going alone to Chinnakada for some necessary shopping. I don't forget those were girls who easily made friendship with boys though they were studying in women's colleges;but scared to go to university or do things for their own. Their way of flirting with boys have shocked me so many times. The present day mingling is an extension of that flirting types only, nothing more.But it is true,the present generation is lucky in so many ways.
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